How do i conquer my fear of fighting?

Take a martial arts class, or a boxing class.

Some of the kindest, gentlest, most respectful people I’ve ever met have been martial arts experts.

We had a 9th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do named Monte Bechtel in our area who recently passed away and the man was a flippin’ teddy bear. He was a genuinely warm, open, respectful, friendly and peaceful man. It just so happens that at his prime he could beat up a Navy SEAL (and did so on one occasion, according to legend) as well.

Knowing how to fight does not turn you into a violent person, but it does empower you to protect yourself and it’s a fantastic tool in developing your capacity to simply advocate for yourself and to learn how to be appropriately assertive when managing any kind of conflict, physical or otherwise.

The two most common things that cause people to be afraid of fighting are (a) the fear of getting hurt - obviously - and (b) the fear of not being able to control themselves if they ever actually cut loose and had to attack someone, even if in self defense.

Martial arts training will give you the confidence that you can effectively defend yourself, and if you are willing to get into full-contact sparring (you build up to this, obviously), you can learn firsthand what it’s like to get hit - hard. While it’s unpleasant, you’ll learn that it’s nowhere near as painful or devastating as you’d think it would be, and you’ll learn that you can continue to function even if you’re in pain or injured. That’s a priceless skill if you’re ever in a survival situation.

First year cadets at the West Point military academy are called "plebes", and they take a mandatory boxing class nicknamed "plebe beating" for exactly this purpose. While they pick up some fighting skills, the real purpose of the class is to help them learn what it’s like to get hit and to learn that they can continue to function effectively even after being hurt…good stuff to know in advance if you’re going to be a combat soldier.

Martial arts will also show you how you can control and direct your aggression appropriately. Black belt martial artists are usually the last people in the world who will ever get into a fight. They have the awareness to see bad situations developing and avoid them and they have the self-confidence and self-esteem that means they don’t have to prove anything to themselves or anyone else. They’re the guys who can turn and calmly walk away while the big, drunk redneck is calling them every nasty thing in the book and daring them to fight. They already know they can handle themselves; the redneck is just an idiot shooting his mouth off and not worth their time or trouble.

And if they are ever forced to defend themselves, they know how to be only as violent as necessary, as long as necessary, to protect themselves. They know to stop when the fight is won. I’d worry a lot more about what a terrified, untrained person would do once they had their opponent pinned on the ground than I would about what a trained fighter would do.

go flying?